The Hornsey Lane Bridge, universally know as Suicide Bridge was built between 1897 and 1900, replacing the original Archway Bridge.

The Bridge was built to carry Hornsey Lane over the Archway Road, which was intended to pass as a tunnel through Highgate Hill. It was the collapse of this tunnel which led to the bridge’s construction. The Hornsey Lane Bridge is the only one that is built overland. It is one of a few locations associated with mental illness and depression.

With trepidation, I approached Suicide Bridge in Archway, appropriately named, because of the vast number of souls who took their own lives for reasons that will become clear.

I took a deep breath and stood on the Bridge, looking down at the oncoming traffic late at night. I knew that many spirits would come to speak with me, but was not prepared for what awaited me. I focused my mind and the spirit souls started to come one by one anxious to communicate with me.

The first words I heard were: “I’ve had enough, I felt so ashamed, and I couldn’t even look after my own 3 children”

Fervently I asked for a name. I heard the name Julia.

On turning I could see a languid female with greasy straight hair who appeared to be in her late twenties. She informed me that she had thought of jumping with her children but at the last minute changed her mind.

It was on a misty Tuesday morning, of February in the 1940’s. She had a 9 year old girl and 2 toddlers, had worked in a factory which closed down. Her husband who was an alcoholic had left her and the children to fend for themselves and she could not survive financially.

She had come from Camden to the Bridge. A Policeman saw her and tried to stop her but she jumped. She showed me the spot of where and how she climbed onto the bridge, how she shuffled along the plinth of the Bridge, waited for about one hour and then spread her hands out as if she had wings and went to her death. She had totally lost the will to live any longer and was determined to succeed with her decision.

Unhappy and unfulfilled in life (in her estimation) together with no family backup, began a breakdown in her that was like an illness of the soul, from which she could not recover.

“Can I help you Sir?”

I could see the spirit of a Policeman crossing over to me. He told me his name was John and that it was his ‘beat’. He patrolled the area.

“Quite a few made it off this bridge” he said. He had talked a woman down from the bridge and felt very proud that he had done so.

John told me about a man called Frank Chambers, a 46 year old who had jumped off the bridge on New Years Eve in 1946. Frank had gambling debts and was being chased as he was unable to pay back the borrowed money. The lender had systematically added a high interest on for late payments and the debt had accumulated so much that it was beyond his ability to pay it back.

I heard a man laughing at the other end of the bridge. He said it was a joke, he didn’t mean to do it, (jump off) he had been drunk. In a split second he was gone.

As I slowly walked along the Bridge picking up vibrations of spirits entering the atmosphere I came across Richard. Richard, a 60 year old married man in the 1920’s who had lived in Hampstead, ended his life because he had fathered a child with his maid servant. He was reasonably wealthy and had worked in the City. The woman’s family were extorting vast amounts of money from him for their silence. They had destroyed his life as far as he was concerned. “I didn’t want to do it, I had no choice” he said.

“If I had another chance, I wouldn’t have taken her on” Jim a 30 year old with blond hair was a journalist/writer. After conveying this to me he jumped off the Bridge so that I could see him do it to my shock and horror.

To my left I saw a couple hand in hand jumping off – Each one of the spirits seemed to want to show me the instant in time of the jump. I can’t decide if it was to shock or gain my attention. Mark and Jasmine ended their lives in the 1960’s, the most recent suicide chronologically, that I saw that evening. There have been many more suicides since. They were 25 and 24 years old. Jasmine was an agnostic, but loved and trusted Mark who believed in the afterlife. They wanted to free themselves from this world. Jasmine had been taking drugs and she was ‘high’ at the time.

“I thought that I was going to fly, but I didn’t feel anything in the end” she said. “We had breakfast, went for a walk and then jumped”. They appeared totally oblivious to the world around them.

I heard a very angry man shouting to me: “I’m Jack, I had a thriving career, and I could have been somebody.” I could see him unbelievably clearly and went over to this troubled soul. He told me he was an Artist. “Nobody liked my abstract paintings” he said. I asked him what year he ended his life, to which he clearly replied “1954 at 3.00 am.”

He was born in Lincoln and his father whose name was Walter was a soldier. I am always amazed at the type of information that these souls choose to inform me about. Some of the information is so irrelevant to me but obviously important to them. “I wish I could turn the clock back. I would never have done it” he said. He said that a woman called Alice saw him and tried to talk him out of jumping. She had offered to take him home with her so that they could talk. He felt that this was his only chance of fame, when his death was reported in the newspapers.

After communicating with Jack for a while, I realised that he was grounded. I told him that he could continue with his career if he chose by going towards the light. He took heed of my words and thanked me and proceeded to go, relieved and happy.

By now I was feeling completely drained; the atmosphere was so heavy with sadness, the emotions I felt from all these spirits made me understand why they felt they had to jump, although it was not the answer. I had to leave the Bridge. I had a choice. They thought they had no choice but to jump.

On the other side we learn from a very supportive environment, free of pressure and self recrimination... I felt that all these spirits had admitted in their own way that ending their existence here was probably not the best idea – that if they had allowed themselves more time to think or ask for help, a way around their problems could have been found. These souls could have been saved.

However, when they decided to end their life here, they confirmed that mentally they were not capable of making rational decisions. The mental torture of their day to day life was unbearable.

When a suicide victim goes to the other side they experience such compassion, they are immediately taken for counselling, to reflect, and begin the process of unravelling the turmoil that brought them to the other side. Here they learn to understand as they become stronger with help from friends or relatives. They look at their passing as an accident or an illness of the mind and of the spirit. Just like physical illness, mental illness brings on feelings of hopelessness and failure being the downward spiral of the spirit, where it can no longer sustain itself on earth. It must be realised that so much can be achieved by working out our problems whilst on earth. If our lessons are cut short on earth, then we must continue to learn them on the other side.

Our life on earth, however privileged, will be fraught with experiences where we will have to make decisions that are critical to our existence on the earth. Everything that we go through in the mortal world will benefit us on the other side. There is no easy way out of learning these lessons. The most difficult to deal with are feelings of worthlessness and lack of achievement. Our self worth can be seriously affected by the world and people around us. When we do not feel good about ourselves our soul withers, it cannot sustain itself without the nourishment of feeling like we have purpose and value.

Throughout our lives we all suffer a problem, whether it be mental physical or emotional. The only way to deal with this is to put our pride aside and ask for help. Taking our own life is never the answer!

“There are many troubled souls, when these souls are released into the spirit world they are like white doves released into a clear blue sky”.
(Mari-Ann, Spirit Guide Nun)